Ugh...it's so hard to forgive. I KNOW it's expected of me from my Heavenly Father, but soooo much harder to actually do.
I think it's because you have to be vulnerable to someone who found a weak spot and poked it - over and over. You were hurt & they were the culpret. Now, it's up to you to "hear them out" and allow them a release for their guilt.
Part of me wants to say; "NO. You SHOULD feel guilty! You intentionally hurt me and I want you to feel bad for awhile." But, then that gentle tap happens, an image comes to mind...a Man on a cross, nails, crown of thorns, & whip lashes. Then I think, "What's my pain in comparison? What makes me deserving of heaven & salvation?" Nothing.
So, off I go to dinner tonight to be a teeny-tiny bit like Jesus. To show a former friend that because of God, I have overcome bitterness with the circumstances surrounding our lost friendship & I don't have a hatred for her...I will forgive, because that is what God requires of me, His child. For no other reason than: I was shown more grace than I deserve, from a Father who was without sin, & became sin to save me.
How could I not? And I'm even praying that I can laugh & smile - not to taunt or tease, but to truly reflect the happiness & joy I have inside, because of God's presence in my life.
The semi-adventures of me!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
10 Things About Me
Well, I have 2 friends who blog pretty consistently & I noticed their "10 Things About Me" blog posts and thought I'd join in on the fun (although neither of them invited me personally - I think I was a bit scarred from this).
1. Being a Christian is who I am. I was raised in church & by Christian parents so it's hard for me to remember a time when God wasn't in my life. I have a lot of "traditional" values that others (in this day & age) would think are unusual or weird - but to me it's what God asks of me. I'm not perfect, but I try to live a life that is pleasing to my Heavenly Father.
2. I am not punctual. I wish I were...it's not my gift. Honestly, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be somewhere on time or that I don't wake up early enough - I just don't watch the clock and BAM I'm late again. Please don't take it personally!!
3. I read everything. I recently returned from AZ with 4 books - I brought 3. My grandma gave me one while I was visiting, she thought I'd enjoy it. I LOVE BOOKS! I honestly buy for myself, my classroom, & even my niece & nephew...I will gladly share my addiction with you too, just ask.
4. People dressed in those fuzzy character costumes have FREAKED me out since I was little. Something about their faces being covered - they see you but you can't see them - weirds me out. I'm better now, but I will gladly stand from afar & let others enjoy the characters in those costumes.
5. Using public restrooms is difficult for me. I would rather be uncomfortable & hold it, than use a public restroom & I won't even begin to discuss port-a-potties. Thank goodness I was blessed with a large bladder.
6. I bring my camera on vacation, but I always get side tracked and forget to take photos. But, I have the best sister, who is good at taking photos & she gladly shares with me :0)!!
7. Teaching is the only career I want to have. I love being in the classroom & it took a lost job to make me realize that I went into education to BE WITH KIDS, not to motivate adults. I think, even though more money is in administration or other fields of work, I will be in the classroom teaching kids for most if not all of my career. It's strange how long it took for me to realize this too...I waited so long to decide to major in English & then to become a teacher - now I wouldn't give it up for anything.
8. My brother, sister, and I fought like cats & dogs growing up - but there are no 2 greater people in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! They know me, love me, laugh at, and joke with me. They inspire me & look out for me the way no one else will, well hopefully until I get married. I love my family & even though it can be tough I don't know who I'd be without them.
9. I don't like wearing shoes. However I do love flip flops & sandals - AND I especially love to pamper myself with a pedicure every 4-5 weeks. In the winter I make wearing boots & shoes fun by matching my patterned socks to my outfit - I own like 3 pairs of all white socks - all the rest are striped, dotted, or a pattern of some sort.
10. I get haircuts from Cost Cutters because I am tired of paying $40 + tip for a service that needs to be done every 6 weeks. I am horrible about appointments & being on time (see #2) so it is a pain to have to make hair cut appointments so frequently, rush from work to get there, & then spend all that money!!
Although, I do love going to the dentist, that is one appointment that I look forward to - why is that?
Not surprising I'm sure, but it's who I am. Thanks for reading!
1. Being a Christian is who I am. I was raised in church & by Christian parents so it's hard for me to remember a time when God wasn't in my life. I have a lot of "traditional" values that others (in this day & age) would think are unusual or weird - but to me it's what God asks of me. I'm not perfect, but I try to live a life that is pleasing to my Heavenly Father.
2. I am not punctual. I wish I were...it's not my gift. Honestly, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be somewhere on time or that I don't wake up early enough - I just don't watch the clock and BAM I'm late again. Please don't take it personally!!
3. I read everything. I recently returned from AZ with 4 books - I brought 3. My grandma gave me one while I was visiting, she thought I'd enjoy it. I LOVE BOOKS! I honestly buy for myself, my classroom, & even my niece & nephew...I will gladly share my addiction with you too, just ask.
4. People dressed in those fuzzy character costumes have FREAKED me out since I was little. Something about their faces being covered - they see you but you can't see them - weirds me out. I'm better now, but I will gladly stand from afar & let others enjoy the characters in those costumes.
5. Using public restrooms is difficult for me. I would rather be uncomfortable & hold it, than use a public restroom & I won't even begin to discuss port-a-potties. Thank goodness I was blessed with a large bladder.
6. I bring my camera on vacation, but I always get side tracked and forget to take photos. But, I have the best sister, who is good at taking photos & she gladly shares with me :0)!!
7. Teaching is the only career I want to have. I love being in the classroom & it took a lost job to make me realize that I went into education to BE WITH KIDS, not to motivate adults. I think, even though more money is in administration or other fields of work, I will be in the classroom teaching kids for most if not all of my career. It's strange how long it took for me to realize this too...I waited so long to decide to major in English & then to become a teacher - now I wouldn't give it up for anything.
8. My brother, sister, and I fought like cats & dogs growing up - but there are no 2 greater people in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! They know me, love me, laugh at, and joke with me. They inspire me & look out for me the way no one else will, well hopefully until I get married. I love my family & even though it can be tough I don't know who I'd be without them.
9. I don't like wearing shoes. However I do love flip flops & sandals - AND I especially love to pamper myself with a pedicure every 4-5 weeks. In the winter I make wearing boots & shoes fun by matching my patterned socks to my outfit - I own like 3 pairs of all white socks - all the rest are striped, dotted, or a pattern of some sort.
10. I get haircuts from Cost Cutters because I am tired of paying $40 + tip for a service that needs to be done every 6 weeks. I am horrible about appointments & being on time (see #2) so it is a pain to have to make hair cut appointments so frequently, rush from work to get there, & then spend all that money!!
Although, I do love going to the dentist, that is one appointment that I look forward to - why is that?
Not surprising I'm sure, but it's who I am. Thanks for reading!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Summer Ball
It is nice to be in AZ - well minus the 110 degree heat!! I'm not complaining though, because it beats SNOW in June any time.
I love to watch baseball. It seems that every time I'm in town Nicholas has a tournament & I get to load up on all things baseball. I especially love to watch boys baseball...yes they make errors, but they try so hard and it's so rewarding to watch them make the base hit that scores a run or catch a ball to tag a runner and get that final out.
Congrats NICK - Cal Ripken Little League Champions for AZ!! That last game was a nail biter for sure but it was awesome to watch.
I love to watch baseball. It seems that every time I'm in town Nicholas has a tournament & I get to load up on all things baseball. I especially love to watch boys baseball...yes they make errors, but they try so hard and it's so rewarding to watch them make the base hit that scores a run or catch a ball to tag a runner and get that final out.
Congrats NICK - Cal Ripken Little League Champions for AZ!! That last game was a nail biter for sure but it was awesome to watch.
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