Thursday, July 15, 2010

Forgiveness

Ugh...it's so hard to forgive. I KNOW it's expected of me from my Heavenly Father, but soooo much harder to actually do.

I think it's because you have to be vulnerable to someone who found a weak spot and poked it - over and over. You were hurt & they were the culpret. Now, it's up to you to "hear them out" and allow them a release for their guilt.

Part of me wants to say; "NO. You SHOULD feel guilty! You intentionally hurt me and I want you to feel bad for awhile." But, then that gentle tap happens, an image comes to mind...a Man on a cross, nails, crown of thorns, & whip lashes. Then I think, "What's my pain in comparison? What makes me deserving of heaven & salvation?" Nothing.

So, off I go to dinner tonight to be a teeny-tiny bit like Jesus. To show a former friend that because of God, I have overcome bitterness with the circumstances surrounding our lost friendship & I don't have a hatred for her...I will forgive, because that is what God requires of me, His child. For no other reason than: I was shown more grace than I deserve, from a Father who was without sin, & became sin to save me.

How could I not? And I'm even praying that I can laugh & smile - not to taunt or tease, but to truly reflect the happiness & joy I have inside, because of God's presence in my life.

4 comments:

Clare said...

Oh-for a second I thought it was me!:) I wish I was going out to dinner with you....I am praying that you will have a better time than you thought possible and forgiveness will come naturally. You are such a gracious person I am sure it will be easier than you think.

Greg and Jen said...

I've done MANY studies the past 2 years about forgiveness.... some are hard lessons to swallow, and others were quite a large learning experience -things I never knew before, but was doing right! ;)

I hope your dinner went well. I hope if I need forgiveness, that you will forgive me too. =)

~ Jen

Mouwoohze said...

Thank you for the reminder, Kristan! 2010 has marked the year for me to walk in forgiveness and humility. God is GREAT!

Unknown said...

I think it is easy to forgive...the hard part is to forget. In order to fully forgive the forget part has to be there. I think it takes time....going to dinner and chit chatting is a perfect baby step "one shimmy at a time."
~Love you!